As the World Burns
by NicolaScrittore
Summary: A new doctor has been sent to the 4077th. It isn't enough that the doctor happens to be a woman, but she also happens to be related to Frank Burns, who has been gone for some time. With his sister, a brilliant surgeon but just as much of a stickler, joining the staff, will the days of Military torture return? Or will Hawkeye discover that some families do indeed have Black Sheep?
1. Here She Comes

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM THE TELEVISION SHOW M*A*S*H THEY ARE THE PROPERTY OF FOX THIS IS MERELY A FAN STORY

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A dim gray glow peeked over the horizon as another morning graced the doctors, nurses, and servicemen of the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital. It was a rare, quiet morning. No casualties had come through for a few days, and each resident was taking advantage of the deluge and getting some much-needed rest. As the sunrise slid its way up the front door of the Swamp, glittering against the Moorish cross emblazoned into the wood, Hawkeye Pierce tossed on his cot, fighting against the morning.

His arm swung up over the side of the cot and shielded his eyes just before the sun's rays could burn open his mind awoke, but he lie there for a long while attempting to keep his body at rest. His internal clock grappled with him, forcing him to become more and more aware as the environment around him brightened. His tent mates, BJ Hunnicut and Charles Winchester, had already been awake since before the dawn. Charles had since washed up and headed to the mess tent for a cup of coffee. BJ on the other hand sat quietly on the edge of his cot writing a letter to his beloved wife, Peggy.

Hawkeye listened to the gentle scritch-scratch of the pencil against the paper as he fought off the ever-growing feelings of awareness that threatened to pull him all the way out of slumber. The noise sent an irritated shiver down his spine that finally defeated him, causing him to sit up. His ebony hair sat askew atop his head, giving him the appearance of a weathered rooster. His cheeks sagged below his eyes as he fought them open. He looked over at BJ, silently blaming his writing for pulling him away from what could have been an extra hour or two of glorious sleep. BJ returned his gaze with a wry smile, examining his friend for signs of life.

"Good morning, Rip Van Winkle, I was wondering when you'd wake up." BJ chimed across the tent, returning to his letter with a grin.

Hawkeye gawked at him, still trying to process the sentence as its waves swam in one ear and out of the other. He had been asleep for some time, and at least he wasn't fighting off a hangover, but he never was the early bird that caught the worm.

"I'll have you know," he began, his voice crackling like radio static. "That I was having a marvelous dream. If your pencil wasn't so loud, I would know what color slip Nurse Jacobs was wearing by now."

BJ's shoulders jumped in a silent chuckle and he shook his head to himself, still writing happily in his notepad.

Hawkeye dragged his body up and allowed his body to succumb to a long, wonderful stretch and yawn that at last pulled him into what other people would describe as 'awake'. He idly scratched his chest and shuffled to the stove in the center of the room to see if BJ had filled their coffee pot. He smiled as he felt weight when he lifted the pot and poured the swill into his mug.

"You're a saint among men, Hunnicut." Hawkeye praised, sipping the bitter, lukewarm liquid.

"I aim to please." BJ mumbled back, tapping his pencil against the paper as if punctuating his last verse. He set down the notepad, ripped the paper from it, and began folding.

"What're you telling Peg about this time?" Hawkeye asked, continuing to force the coffee into his body. He briefly considered filling an IV bottle with the substance to save time and the aggravation of dealing with the awful taste.

"What else?" BJ asked, gesturing around himself. He didn't have to say it, Hawkeye understood hand speech.

There really wasn't much else to talk about except the war. And when the war wasn't happening, there was still nothing else to talk about. Though, he was sure BJ hid some details. He probably added about a thousand 'I love yous' onto that piece of paper and just left out the mush to spare Hawkeye an attack of nausea.

As Hawkeye watched BJ happily insert his letter into an envelope, Charles returned from the mess tent toting a mug and a plate of toast with him. He casually ignored the two of them and strode to his cot to sit down and tuck into his mediocre breakfast. Hawkeye and BJ looked at each other as Charles plopped his bottom into the chair beside his desk and began humming to himself. BJ rolled his eyes and Hawkeye stifled a chuckle. They were used to the Major writing them off as commoners and he as the King. But sometimes, it was just too amusing in the simplest moments.

"Good morrow, Charles." Hawkeye boomed in a mock Bostonian accent.

"Hmm." Charles replied, seemingly unfazed. He opened a drawer beside him and extracted what appeared to be a jar of preserves. He swiped the contents across his cardboard-like toast with his nose in the air and a smile of satisfaction on his face as if he was making the other two jealous.

BJ merely ignored him, sealed his envelope, nodded at Hawkeye with the envelope in hand, and left the Swamp to put it in the outgoing mail. Hawkeye otherwise took notice of an anxious looking Max Klinger traipsing across the compound toward their tent. He stopped BJ for a moment to say something to him that caused BJ to look back at Hawkeye and shrug before continuing on his way. Hawkeye raised his brow at him. At least the morning seemed to be starting off with something of interest. This way, he wouldn't have to go searching for some entertainment. It instead came to him.

Noticing that Hawkeye had already spotted him, Klinger walked right in and opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a huffy "What can we do for you, SARGEANT?" from Charles.

Klinger sneered at him, but didn't answer him directly. Instead, he looked back at Hawkeye and said, "Colonel Potter wants you, Captain Hunnicut, Father Mulcahy and Major Houlihan in his office pronto. He says he has some very interesting news that you and the Major might find particularly interesting."

"Oh good, I do like to start my morning with a big cup of interesting." Hawkeye remarked, pulling his threadbare red robe around him and slipping his feet into his untied boots. "Especially if the Major is involved." he added, raising his eyebrows at a clearly amused Klinger.

Before they could exit, Charles stood fast, toast crumbs tumbling down his freshly pressed fatigues. "Why was I not invited to this private party? I am an officer in this camp as well, you know."

"And you'll never let us forget it." Hawkeye replied, waving Charles off as he left the tent. He counted down from three in his head, and as he suspected, when he hit one he heard Charles follow angrily behind him. He smiled to himself, admiring his own ability to predict the future. Young Radar O'Reily would have been proud, were he still there with them in Korea.

Hawkeye made his way into Colonel Potter's office, where his commanding officer sat at his desk pouring over what looked like a personnel file. He acknowledged Hawkeye with a nod and held a hand out to the chair in front of his desk with a quiet grumbled "Hello." Charles followed Hawkeye in and stood stiff beside the desk, his hands were shoved into his pockets and he stared at the Colonel with a look of impatience. Potter ignored him, though Hawkeye noticed his shoulders seemed to tighten in toward his chest for a moment.

"This had better be good Colonel." he griped, slumping down in the chair opposite Potter. "And there had better be some hors d'oeuvres, I'm starving."

"Trust me, Pierce, you're gonna wanna hear this." Potter replied, never looking up from the file.

Shortly after, BJ, Major Margaret Houlihan, and Father Francis Mulcahy entered the room. Hawkeye greeted the Father as he sat down and nodded to BJ while he leaned up against a filing cabinet. As usual, good old Father Mulcahy gave Hawkeye a bright smile as the office light gleamed off of his large, round glasses. Respectively, Mulcahy greeted the others as well before taking his seat.

"Good morning, Colonel." Margaret said stiffly, as if this summons had interrupted something important and she was waiting impatiently to leave. She stood with her arms pressed into her sides and her lips pursed. Hawkeye stared at her, wondering to himself how anyone could be that uptight all the time. He'd seen her loosen up on plenty of occasions, but she always seemed to reset after a while.

"If you were anymore tense, Margaret, I bet I could use you to make diamonds out of coal." Hawkeye joked, making Margaret scoff.

"Colonel, why was I not summoned along with the other officers?" Charles demanded, tapping his foot loudly.

"Because this doesn't concern you Major, you'd have no idea what I was talking about." Potter replied, shutting the file and lacing his hands together on top of his desk.

"The whole world doesn't revolve around you, Charles." BJ smirked. "Sometimes, you don't get invited to the party. Nothing personal."

Charles merely huffed and pressed on. "Sir, if there is an officers meeting, I, as an officer, am REQUIRED to be present."

"Major if you insist on being present, then be present." Potter snipped at him, his jowls quaking as he began to lose his patience. "But don't sit there and bombard me with questions about the subject when it doesn't concern you in the slightest."

"What is this about, Colonel?" Father Mulcahy asked, seemingly trying to get everyone moving forward without an argument.

Potter turned his attention mostly to Hawkeye and Margaret. The two of them exchanged curious looks, and Hawkeye shrugged. Potter drew in a long sigh and held up the file he had looked over when they walked in. Hawkeye could barely see a photo peeking over the coffee brown envelope. When the light hit it just right from the window, he could almost make out the silhouette of the person occupying the other side.

"We're getting a new doctor." Potter said finally, his lips tightening into a thin line. His eyes made their way around the room, gauging everyone's first reaction.

"What's wrong with that?" Hawkeye asked. "The more help we get, the more the rest of us can sleep."

"Here, here." BJ chimed in agreement through a yawn that forced its way out.

"Doesn't concern me…" Charles huffed to himself, walking away from the desk to stare out of the window and shake his head. "If THIS isn't what concerned me, then I would be baffled to see what DOES concern me in the future."

"Can it, Winchester!" Potter barked. "It's not just that we are getting a new doctor. It's WHO the doctor is."

The room grew tensely silent. Potter seemed hesitant to move forward and give more information.

"Well, who is it, Colonel?" Hawkeye asked, emitting a dry laugh. "Whoever it is they can't be nearly as bad as 'Mommy, I want to go to the party, make them invite me!' over here." he jerked a thumb toward Charles, who jerked his head around to glare at him.

"Why don't you keep your comments to yourself, Pierce." He spat.

"Why don't YOU go and suck your thumb in the corner." Hawkeye retorted. "And if they aren't as bad as him, no one we get now could be as bad as Frank Burns." he chuckled, BJ joined him and even Margaret had to hide a bit of an amused chortle.

"I have to admit," Father Mulcahy said shyly. "Frank Burns was a bit…difficult on his bad days."

"And straight out terrible on his good days." Hawkeye added.

"He wasn't all bad." Margaret clapped in, attempting to bring some sort of good light onto Frank's character. "He could've been better…but he wasn't absolutely dreadful." Even if, in the end, Frank had been a bumbling, arrogant man, she still held a special place in her heart for him.

They all had a small chuckle at Frank's expense and Hawkeye looked back over at Potter, who stared at him with a stony expression. Hawkeye's smile began to fade a little and he leaned forward. He looked directly into the Colonel's eyes for a long moment before he seemed to understand what was going on. At least, he hoped he didn't understand correctly.

"You can't tell me they've found someone worse than Frank Burns?" He asked, his tone airing on the side of desperate.

"Hold on to your hats, kiddos." Potter said, opening the file and handing it to Hawkeye.

The file hovered for a moment in Potter's hands before Hawkeye. The first thing He noticed was the name: Audrey. He snatched the file from Potter's hands and began to read, suddenly intrigued.

"Audrey?" Hawkeye said, his voice rising, interest piqued. "I thought you said we were getting a doctor."

"We are." Potter replied, a bit irritated at Hawkeye's response.

"A woman doctor, you say?" Charles asked, suddenly losing his childish angst and gaining interest. "Surely you jest." He rounded Hawkeye's chair and began to try to read over his shoulder. Hawkeye, not willing to share, turned away and crouched low over the file, trying to hide it from Charles as best he could.

"I never like to jest, Major. You heard me correctly." Potter said, watching as Hawkeye scanned the rest of the file.

"Blonde hair, blue eyes…I wish they'd add measurements to these things." Hawkeye purred as his eyes ran over the file at a mile a minute. BJ shook his head, sure that Hawkeye wasn't even really reading anything else there with full comprehension.

Margaret snatched the file from Hawkeye. His hands stiffened a moment as though he were still holding the file before he processed what had happened and he protested before Margaret began to read more thoroughly.

"A female doctor." Charles said again, rubbing his chin idly.

"Did I stutter, Major? Or are you just deaf?" Potter argued, turning to face Charles with a grimace.

"Sir, I have as much respect for the fairer sex as the next man." Charles began, standing fully to address his commanding officer.

"And I, being the next man, have a LOT of respect for the fairer sex. Just ask the nurses." Hawkeye interjected.

Charles ignored his perversion and continued, leaning toward the Colonel with his brow furrowed. "But…a woman doctor in these conditions…Surely there must be some mistake? Grant you, our nurses do just wonderfully, but a woman in this profession is almost unheard of. Those that do exist among us are likely to have it a bit harder. I'm not saying she can't handle it, but-"

"No mistake, Major. Captain Burns will be joining us tomorrow morning at 0800 hours."

Hawkeye's brain seemed to shift against his skull and his ears felt like they were burning. He wasn't sure he'd heard the Colonel correctly. BJ seemed to have the same thought. He blinked rapidly and stepped forward.

"I'm sorry…" BJ began. "Captain-?"  
"Burns!" Margaret finished for him. "Captain Audrey…Burns…"

The silence that followed Margaret's utterance of the name 'Burns' was palpable. All those present apart from Charles seemed to allow that information to sink in almost to the bone before Hawkeye finally shattered the silence with a guttural emission of angst.

"You've got to be kidding…" He said, laughing nervously. "Frank had a SISTER? His parents reproduced more than ONCE?"

"You heard right, Pierce. The orders were sent to me by none other than Lt. Colonel Burns himself. His sister has been assigned to our unit with an approval sent in by General Barker, who has become a regular correspondent of Burns' since his promotion."

Hawkeye whined and stood from his chair, pacing as he ran his hands through his hair. Margaret continued to read through Burns' file and eventually began to read aloud. Everyone in the room, aside from Charles at this point, listened intently. Even Hawkeye, who was still attempting to wake himself up from this clear nightmare.

"Graduated top of her class from the Indiana University of Medicine in 1945. She then took up residency in Fort Wayne's General Hospital over the next three years and soon after became head surgeon in her department. She…" Margaret paused, her eyes widening at the next line.

"What, does she have fangs and only work at night? Does she change every full moon? What?" Hawkeye asked, dreading the thought of another Burns coming to torture them all with military correctness and closed-minded ideals.

"She volunteered. She wasn't drafted, she enlisted herself." Margaret continued. "It says here that she put in a request to be sent here to the 4077th specifically, and of course Lieutenant Colonel Frank Burns was the one who sent in a letter of commendation to General Barker as soon as the enlistment was approved."

"Like brother, like sister." Hawkeye croaked, feeling his worst fears were suddenly confirmed.  
The officers stood in a stunned silence as Margaret read off the details of the new doctor's orders. A female doctor, almost completely unheard of, was coming to them. And not only was she a species of her own, her subspecies happened to be related to a former officer that everyone around them despised.

"Ok…alright, alright, alright…" Hawkeye finally stammered on, trying to gather his thoughts. "So..so she's related to Frank Burns. That doesn't necessarily mean that she is anything like him, right?"

No one answered him, which brought no comfort to Hawkeye from his inquiry. This could only mean that everyone in the room was thinking the same thing. Anyone born into that family certainly had to be two seconds away from being thrown into a rubber truck or they wouldn't qualify as kin. The lot of them began speculating just how bad she could be compared to her brother.

Memories of Frank Burns seemed to be flooding back to Hawkeye in nauseating waves. From the moment they met, Hawkeye felt the man burrow under his skin and make camp. Anytime the man had any iota of power handed to him, the world around them suddenly became stained olive drab. From the time Frank attempted to have him court marshaled for a mutiny he did not commit, to his constant outcries of racism and bigotry, to the times he nearly killed patients in surgery without interference, to his so-called 'secret' affair with Margaret, to his childish attitude when he didn't get his way, Frank Burns certainly left a mark on everyone in camp. Hawkeye in particular didn't desire to relive those days with anyone resembling him. During this trip down memory lane, Hawkeye suddenly had a thought.

"Wait a minute, didn't Frank once mention a brother?" Hawkeye asked after a long pause among them.

"Hey, yah." Margaret added. "He never once mentioned a sister to me. He did say that he had an older brother."

"It's a might peculiar." Potter said, nodding. "But, then again, Frank Burns was the Lieutenant Colonel of peculiar when we knew him. I suppose we can ask the fair Captain Burns when she arrives."

"When is she supposed to get here?" BJ asked.

"Tomorrow morning, at 0800 hours sharp. And, if she's anything like Frank, she'll be right on time without a moment to spare. The whole purpose of this meeting was to give you all a little word of warning. When I received her file, I also received a letter all the way from Fort Wayne from Frank Burns himself THREATENING that if we didn't treat his sister with the utmost respect, he would personally send word to the General and put us all at risk."

"That sure sounds like our old Ferret Face." Hawkeye said, slumping down in his chair, allowing the weight of his sudden dread to carry him down.

"He's right, that sounds like something Frank would say." Margaret concurred, shaking her head.

"And you would know." Hawkeye mumbled.

"That comment is beneath me." Margaret huffed.

"So was he, at one time."

"Calm your perversions, Pierce." Potter said as he removed his glasses to rub his nose, his eyes squinting with frustration. "Look, I'm no happier with this than the rest of you. While I'm pleased as punch to be getting a bit of extra help, this is the last place I would've wanted it from. But no one ever said you always get the freshest apple when you pick right from the tree. So, I want you to do your best to make the Captain feel welcome. If we play our cards right, we can get through the rest of this war without having a battle on the home front. Are we clear?"

"Crystal." Hawkeye said, standing and readying himself to return to the Swamp so that he could prepare for this in a tall glass of antifreeze.

"Yes, sir." Margaret said, turning on her heel and speeding out of the door before anyone else could.

Father Mulcahy and BJ simply nodded silently, while Charles grumbled to himself about how pointless this meeting was as he pushed past them, his nose high in the air. Potter shook his head after him before glancing at Hawkeye, who appeared to be lingering, his eyes affixed on the photo attached to the personnel file.

"Pierce?" He inquired, slightly concerned.

Hawkeye didn't seem to hear him. Instead, he seemed to be humming idly to himself as he gazed down at the photograph. From his perspective, it was upside down, but the details weren't lost even from where he stood. The face that stared back at him was stern, wrought with discipline. The eyes were set on the camera, challenging it as if the photographer behind it were daring her to do the most serious look she could muster. She certainly succeeded. There were small hints of Frank Burns in her features. Her ears peeked out from behind her cheeks, turning just in enough to give them a mousy appearance. Her chin was short, but rounded at the foothills of her thin, oval face. Her lips were tight for her expression, but they had fullness to them that Frank would have envied. The most striking feature Hawkeye noticed were her long eyelashes, making what he was certain would be a pair of striking blue eyes pop off of the glossy photo paper.

"Pierce…?" Potter said again, snapping Hawkeye back to reality.

Hawkeye looked up, almost forgetting that the person he was inspecting had rodent relations. "Sorry, Colonel. I was just-"

"For a Burns, she's a pretty girl." Potter confirmed, knowing all too well what Hawkeye was thinking.

"Well, we'll see. I've known plenty of women with pretty faces that had ugly hearts." Hawkeye replied, trying a little too hard not to think too many positive thoughts about the girl in the photo. After all, what could he ever see in anyone by the name of BURNS?


	2. Welcome to the 4077th, CAPTAIN Burns

0700 Hours. Hawkeye lie on his cot and stared at his clock as the second-hand ticked away, counting down the hours to their inevitable torture. BJ watched him from across the tent. He could practically see the steam rising from Hawkeye's chest as the heat of his anxiety began to fill the air with tension. Hawk ignored him, though he was well aware that he was being watched.

"You've got to calm down." BJ said timidly. "You'll make yourself sick."

"It's a good thing you're a doctor." Hawkeye clapped back, his eyes never leaving the clock. 0701. "In exactly fifty-nine minutes, a jeep will pull up right outside carrying Frank Burns in a wig."

BJ Couldn't help but guffaw out loud. "It's his sister."

Hawkeye sat up, his feet hit the floor with a loud, thunderous clunk. His hands clamped the sides of his flattened mattress as his wide, blue eyes fixed themselves on his best friend.

"You don't know that." He said, his voice low as if he were discussing conspiracy. "He never mentioned a sister. For all we know, this is Frank's final ploy to take control of this outfit. You knew him, we all did. Do you really think that's above him?"

"He got sent home, Hawk. He got promoted and put in charge of a military hospital back in the states, you know that. Why would he give that up to come all the way back here?"

"Sadism." Hawkeye snapped, standing and pacing around the room. "A last ditch effort to exert his power as a commanding officer? A final plea to Margaret, perhaps? Who knows? And if it IS in fact a sister, what does he hope to do by sending her here? And what kind of crazy person VOLUNTEERS to be a part of this meat circus?"

He glanced at the clock again, 0704. A bead of sweat managed to trickle its way down his forehead and he quickly wiped it away. What was he honestly so nervous about? Was it that it was a woman? No. It was that it was a woman with ties to Frank Burns.

If there was one thing that Hawkeye learned about Frank when he was in Korea, it was that the women in Frank's life had an intense hold on him. He was obsessive over his own mother, keeping her picture close to him like a psychopath. Freud would have been over the moon with theories if he had seen that. Margaret had such an intense hold over him that he went berserk when she got married to another man. Even his wife back home kept a tight grip on the man's neck from thousands of miles away. If his mother made him the way he was, what would a sister be like?

0710\. Hawkeye was beginning to lose track of the time. He kept peering through the mesh of his tent toward the Welcome sign that signified the entrance to the camp, just waiting for a jeep to come careening toward them.

"You're tapping." BJ commented.

Hawkeye snapped his head up, leaning forward with his head cocked as if he hadn't quite heard what BJ had said. BJ gestured to Hawkeye's feet, which were jumping around beneath him like they had minds of their own. He slammed them down, forcing them to stay still and gave BJ a "Well, I can't help it." kind of look.

"Will it really be so bad? I mean, we have to deal with the King of the Camp here every single day." BJ said, trying to make light by insulting Charles. He had hoped that would cheer Hawkeye up just a bit, but it didn't seem to work.

"Chuckles I can deal with." Hawkeye said. "But Frank Burns just got so deep under my skin, I don't think a part of him ever left. Once you've dealt with a person like that for a long time, you never want to deal with them again. At the very least, Charles has some good points. He's not a bumbler when it comes to operating on another human being, and every now and again he shows some scrap of human decency. But Frank Burns was almost irredeemably evil. That man would have probably sold his own sister instead of sending her here if it meant he could put the money into his own pocket. The fact that a man like that was given everything he wanted is sickening. It's maddening. It's downright sick and mad."

0716\. Hawkeye ran a hand over his hair and took a deep breath. "Maybe I am overreacting. Maybe She's different."

"Right." BJ said, relaxing the tension out of his shoulders. "She's a different person. She's not Frank."

"Not Frank." Hawkeye repeated, trying to rationalize with himself. "She has to be…She'd better at least be a better doctor. Because I refuse to keep on eye on my own patient and another on hers like I had to do with Frank all the time."

BJ agreed silently, shaking his head as he remembered the countless close calls Frank Burns had over the months he knew him.

Unbeknownst to them both, Colonel Potter had crossed the compound and knocked on their door, startling them both.

"Entre vous." Hawkeye said, lowering himself back down onto his cot.

Colonel Potter ducked in and nodded to them both, grumbling as he made a bee line toward their still.

Recognizing the familiar plunk of metal against glass, Hawkeye put up a finger. "Pour one for me, too, fearless leader, and I shall toast to your good health."

"You can toast all you want," Potter grumbled. "But I bet you won't be able to stifle my nerves."

"You too?" Hawkeye said, sitting up and taking the glass that Potter extended to him. BJ helped himself as well once Potter took a seat beside Hawkeye on his cot.

"Oh yes. Don't count yourself as the only one who remembers the dark ages. We were all there. I'm under a lot of pressure myself to make sure she's well taken care of."

Hawkeye nodded, taking a long gulp from his glass and leaning over to pour himself another. Potter eyed him, raising a brow in mock surprise.

"You aren't going to comment? No 'I'll take good care of her' or 'Leave it to me, Colonel, she'll be in good hands'?"

Hawkeye laughed out loud, knowing full well it was typical of him to jump at the chance to meet a new woman. With the way he eyed her photo the day before, of course the Colonel would assume that. He wrote it off as he was merely taking a look at what a female Frank might look like and nothing more.

"Not this time, Colonel." he replied, sipping from his second glass. He peeked back at the clock, 0725. He took another vacuous swallow and allowed the burning sensation in his throat to ease before reaching over for another refill. "I can't get past the 'related to Frank' thing. That keeps her out of the cards for me."

"Just as well." BJ remarked. "You've got a pretty full deck on the back burner anyway."

"I have to keep myself occupied somehow when I'm off duty." Hawkeye shot back, raising his glass and toasting his own prowess. BJ chuckled and sipped his gin.

"I can't say I blame you." Potter said as he stared down into his barely touched martini. "I haven't been able to get a decent wink since the news came to me. I can't shake the feeling that this is all going to go bad."

"I can't either." Hawkeye said in agreement. 0730.

The three of them sat in the thick tension that suddenly surrounded them. The air suddenly felt a bit cooler, as if a winter chill suddenly settled over the camp. Hawkeye absent mindedly pulled his robe tighter around him, staring off into space as he spun his martini glass in his hands. He couldn't remember the last time he felt truly anxious like this. Every day around here was enough to make a man lose his mind. He had finally become numb to the nausea that burned in his gut anytime he heard the choppers' rhythmic call as they appeared over the mountains with heaps of wounded. He checked the clock again, 0740. As he spun back around, he looked at the other two men with him and they all came to a quiet agreement that now would be the time to get ready for the welcoming committee.

Potter took the full brunt of his untouched glass and smacked it down on the table next to the still before he stood, shook off the chill that came with the alcohol's sting, and turned to go. "Time to await the sound of the bugle." He said, more to himself than to the others, as he ducked back out of the Swamp.

The next twenty minutes seemed to slip away from them faster than they anticipated. Soon enough, the distant sound of a jeep's rumbling engine began to crescendo as it rounded the bend into camp. Hawkeye could barely make out the figure of a woman in the front seat wearing a formal uniform. Her head bowed over a book in her lap, her head swaying back and forth as the jeep bumped and swayed with its approach. Colonel Potter approached the road and halted as the jeep did just outside of the Swamp. He saluted the driver, a corporal, who returned the favor just before leaping from his seat and rounding the jeep to collect the new Captain's belongings.

Hawkeye stood at his door, looking out of the window at them. From where he stood, he couldn't quite make her out, but he did see the bill of her cap swing from side to side as she appeared to be scanning her surroundings.

Hawkeye turned to BJ, who sat at the edge of his cot staring at him with his lips curled in, attempting to read his friend's mood. "Shall we introduce ourselves?" Hawk finally asked.

BJ leaped up, hopping as he stood like a ball player heading to bat. "Might as well." He held out his arm toward the door, signaling Hawkeye to leave first. He did so begrudgingly and kept his head down as they approached the jeep.

"Welcome to the 40-double seven, Captain Burns." they heard Potter say in a formal, but polite, tone. "We've been expecting you. And, I must say, your presence is most welcome. I can't tell you how grateful we are to have a pair of extra hands around here."

BJ stopped, causing Hawkeye to halt in his tracks. He'd been studying the color of the dirt beneath their feet instead of watching where he was going as they walked. BJ nudged him with his elbow, trying to force him to bring his head up.

"Thank you, Colonel. I'm happy to be here." Came a voice smooth as caramel. It certainly wasn't Frank in a wig, Hawkeye could be sure of that now. If it were, his spine would be trembling beneath his flesh trying to make its way out of his back-end. Still, he didn't look up. However, what then came into view were a pair of dainty legs clad in nude nylons and a pair of feed in glossy brown heels. The feet clamped themselves together and the hem of a chocolate skirt swayed to a slow stop just above the ankles. Hawkeye studied them for a moment before allowing his eyes to finally move skyward and look into the face of Captain Audrey Burns.

Just as she had been in her photo, her face was stern, but gorgeous. Her slightly squared jaw sat tightly atop her thin neck and clenched her full, pink lips into a tight line on her dainty chin. Her thin, pointed nose flared, reminding Hawkeye instantly of Frank and putting him off for a moment until he took a gander at her eyes. What struck him wasn't the fact that they were a deep cerulean blue, but that unlike Frank whose eyes were always alive with his sense of duty and the thrill of being in the army…hers had no light behind them. He knew that look. That look was the one he saw every single time he looked in the mirror while he was here. If he didn't know any better, he would say that this woman was dead on her feet. Perhaps her head was numb from the tight bun she'd wrapped her straw blonde hair in. Perhaps her formal uniform cap was too tight. Either way, for someone who volunteered to be here, Hawkeye's first impression was that she'd rather be anywhere else.

Regardless, it took some will for Hawkeye to keep his jaw shut. For a moment, he forgot who he was looking at. And he forgot who this person was related to. All he saw was a short, petite, gorgeous woman who just happened to look like she needed a vacation before she even started. He pulled himself together and straightened up, puffing his chest out a bit. He couldn't help but notice that BJ was giving him a side glance, judging him quietly.

Colonel Potter smiled, though it seemed a bit forced when he realized Hawkeye was still in his robe. But he pressed on nonetheless.

"These are two of your fellow doctors, Captain." he said, holding an arm out toward them.

Audrey's first look at Hawkeye drew out a familiar Burnsian sneer, one that Hawkeye expected, but still did not welcome. Her eyes trailed him up and down from the top of his disheveled black hair to the bottoms of his untied boots.

"You MUST be Captain Pierce." She said in an almost disgusted tone. "The Colonel has told me all about YOU."

"The COLONEL?!" Hawkeye laughed. Frank even had his own family being formal with him. Not that he was surprised, but it was still rather amusing to say the least. "You can tell Colonel Ferret Face I don't appreciate him spreading dirty rumors." Hawkeye replied, throwing his nose into the air in mock offense.

"Yes, you are everything he told me. Out of uniform, unkempt, and unfunny." She smirked, turning to face BJ as though Hawkeye no longer interested her at all. "Which must make YOU Captain McIntyre." she said, turning to BJ.

BJ turned to Hawkeye, his eyes round with surprise.

"No, that would make me Captain Hunnicut." he corrected her.

"Hunnicut, Hunnicut…" she mumbled, searching the ground for a memory in which his name would have been mentioned. "I do apologize, but the Colonel never mentioned you."

"Well, I don't know if I should be insulted or relieved." BJ chuckled, unsure whether it was a good thing that the months he spent with Frank seemed to be forgotten entirely.

"Trapper John McIntyre has been gone for a long time now. Gone before your brother left, WAY before he did. Good old Frank must have more screws loose than we thought." Hawkeye joked with BJ, causing Audrey's face to go from pale porcelain to lobster scarlet.

"I'll thank you to keep any comments about the Colonel to yourself." she huffed, grabbing her bags from the corporal, thanking him, and stomping away.

Colonel Potter stumbled for a moment, trying to catch up with her and reprimand Hawkeye and BJ at the same time.

"I'd watch that tone if I were you, Pierce. You're the one that's going to be giving her a tour once she's settled in." he warned as he quickly strode to catch up with Audrey on the way to her tent.

Hawkeye watched her walk away, and for the first time he found it very easy not to watch her in the usual way. If he had any fears about her being just like Frank, they were at last confirmed. The heat that began to rise from the ground to his head was all to familiar. It was a rage he only ever felt toward people like Frank Burns in the first place. It had been a while since he felt that.

"How can anyone that beautiful be related to that fink?" he asked, more himself than BJ, but BJ decided to answer despite that. "And why do I have to give her a tour? She's got eyes, she can walk around this place just fine by herself and see where everything is."

"Sometimes life isn't fair. That's the law." he replied.

"What a lousy law."

Hawkeye had just about memorized the lines in the wood on Captain Burns' door before he finally worked up the nerve to knock. He'd been standing in front of her tent for about twenty minutes attempting to get the knot in his stomach untied. He was just so tired of having to deal with people who succumbed to the influences of the army and all it stood for. He was a doctor, a healer of the sick and a man charged with keeping his patients safe. If the Burns family had their way, like any other military mongrel, the war would go on forever and it wouldn't matter who lived or who died as long as the good old U.S. of A. had its glory. He was just so damn tired, and he was too tired to take this woman on a tour of his own personal hell.

"Come." Audrey's muffled voice came from the other side of the door.

"Or go, that's what I'd prefer." Hawkeye grumbled to himself as he entered the tent.

Audrey had removed her hat and uniform coat and stood stooped over an open leather suitcase unpacking a few knick knacks that she brought with her. The first thing that Hawkeye noticed, much to his chagrin, were many pictures of Audrey and Frank together. Though, it was Frank as Hawkeye had never seen him before.

On the shelf beside the bed, framed by a swirling gold picture frame, was a photograph of a much younger looking Audrey and an even younger looking Frank. The two of them couldn't have been more than ten years old. Frank had his arm reaching around his sister's shoulders and he was looking at her with a genuinely joyful grin. Audrey had her arm around Frank's shoulder with her fingers poking just over his hair to give him a pair of bunny ears and she had her other pointer finger pulling at her cheek to make a funny face at him, her eyes crossed as she turned to face him. Her hair blew wildly around her, as if it were windy that day.

A second photo hung above her bed in a hand carved wooden frame, the corner of which had the etched initials "F.B." on it. The photo was the two of them again, slightly older, perhaps in their teens, at a carnival eating cotton candy and laughing happily with one another. On the desk beside the door where Hawkeye stood, he caught a glimpse of four more photos. One was Frank as a teen, presumably a school photo. He was in a nice, pressed suit and was sitting formally against a gray backdrop. He didn't smile here, he looked closer to the Frank he knew while he was in Korea.

Next to that was another picture of them, but with their parents. The two of them stood in front, their hands at their sides and their expressions stony. They looked to be in their mid teens. Audrey was in a modest button up shirt and long skirt that tickled her ankles, her hair in the same bun she now wore. Frank was in a suit like the one in his school photo. Their mother, a bird like woman with a thick head of hair tied into a top knot and a pasted smile stood behind Frank. Meanwhile, their father, a man with a thick neck that seemed to blend with his jaw and a receding hairline, with Frank's ears stood beside their mother but on the opposite side of Frank. There was no one standing behind Audrey here. The photos beside these were both again of Audrey and Frank. One depicted Audrey in a fluffy armchair with Frank standing behind her. The other was of the two of them at what appeared to be Frank's college graduation. Here, it seemed Frank finally had a growth spurt, as he now stood several inches taller than Audrey. One thing Hawkeye noticed, though, was they were no longer smiling.

On the wall by the door there were a set of oval frames that had two cameo silhouettes in them. From what he could tell, Hawkeye guessed they were of her parents.

Aside from these photos, she didn't seem to pull out any other truly intimate personal possessions. He watched her pull out a few medical journals, a personal diary, a set of lovely metal pens, and a tiny wooden box with a floral ribbon glued to the edge of its lid.

"You sure know how to decorate." Hawkeye said ironically, tightening his lips at being surrounded by pictures of Frank.

Audrey didn't answer. She simply stood and turned to face him. For a long moment, they studied one another. She looked at him as if she was searching for something, what that could be Hawkeye didn't know. He looked at her, trying again to understand how such a petite little beauty like this could have a brother like Frank. He worried that the bad doctor gene might just carry over. He worried that they would all again have to suffer against constant racism and bigotry. His thoughts were interrupted when Audrey cleared her throat and Hawkeye had to wonder how long they'd been standing in complete silence.

"I'm not that kind of woman." she said flatly, folding her hands in front of her.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I've heard about your…debauchery." Hawkeye flinched at that, it had been a while since he heard that word said so…haughtily. "And I'll have you know, right here and now, that I will not be a midnight visit for you while I'm here. I am here to work."

"That's a relief." Hawkeye replied. "I thought you were here to make jokes." He couldn't help but grin at himself, he obviously struck a nerve there. Audrey pressed her hands to her sides and her face began to turn red once again.

"I want to have a clear understanding, Captain Pierce." She said, surprisingly calm. "I will not be treated any differently just because I'm a female surgeon. I may be a woman but I am, in fact, a good doctor."

"I'll be the judge of that." Hawkeye said, suddenly serious. "You see, I'm chief surgeon. That's something that your brother didn't like, and I didn't care. You may not like it either, and I still don't care. The fact of the matter is, CAPTAIN, your brother was a disgrace as a doctor. I want to make sure that you aren't a disgrace. So you'll forgive me if, and forgive me the pun, I watch you like a HAWK."

Audrey's brow furrowed. "I must have missed the pun. Seems you aren't as clever as Frankie said you thought you were."

Hawkeye blinked. Frankie?

"You…you don't know my first name do you? Is that something FRANKIE never thought to mention? For the record, they call me Hawkeye."

Audrey let out a sharp laugh. "Hawkeye? What kind of name is that?"

"It's from-"

"Last of the Mohicans. I know, I read in school, too." Audrey interrupted. "However, I fail to see why any parent would name their child something so out of the ordinary."

Hawkeye glared at her, feeling the steam begin to seep from his ears. "It's a nickname that my father gave to me, I very much like it, so does everyone else around here."

"Well, forgive me if I don't use it."

"I won't. As long as you call me Captain Pierce and not Benjamin Franklin."

"Why would I EVER call you that?"

"Because that's my real first and middle name."

Audrey stifled a laugh. "That might be sillier than HAWKEYE."

"Why?"

"Because he was an accomplished man, you may think you are but you are not."

"I'm a doctor aren't I? Just like you?"

"That doesn't make you accomplished, that makes you smart. To be an accomplished doctor you need a practice."

"Do you have one?"

Audrey stood silent for a moment, her lips disappearing under the weight of her obvious frustration.

"What did you come to my tent for anyway?" she snapped, finally letting herself lose a bit of her temper. Hawkeye grinned, she WAS as easy to prod as Frank used to be. Perhaps this would be a bit of fun.

"I came to give you a guided tour of our lovely little slice of the Devil's backside." He said in a mock British accent, holding his arm out to her like an escort.

Audrey eyed his arm and leaned away from him slightly.

"Why do I need a tour? I can find my way around just fine on my own."

Hawkeye dropped his arm and rolled his eyes. "You know, that's exactly what I said. Well, if that's what you prefer…" he turned to leave but Audrey interrupted that with a scoff.

"I didn't say I wouldn't go for one. You could at least be a gentleman and offer me one anyway." with that, she stepped out of the door before him and began stomping her way across the compound. She stopped twenty feet away and turned back, giving a "Well, come on!" look to Hawkeye before rushing the rest of the way towards the hospital.

Hawkeye stood in a stunned silence, watching her in utter disbelief. "Welcome back, Frank. Have I ever told you, you look a little like your mother?" he hissed to himself, following her and slamming the door behind him.


End file.
